What’s Your Story?

Over time, as we have experiences of the world and learn from others, we pick up stories or beliefs about the world. Our stories are self-reinforcing. We filter out sensory information that doesn’t correspond. This is right in the brain mechanism – current input is compared to memory before it even becomes conscious. So new experiences tend to continue to reinforce the old and they tend to get stronger with age. This is perfectly normal and mostly sub-conscious. It is how we function in the world and become better drivers, workers, and lovers.

Without our stories, we would be seriously handicapped. In fact, we would not be able to make sense of our sensory experiences. They would be a jumble of data, much as a newborn sees the world, or a toddler sees the alphabet.

The problem arises when we use stories to resist or deny what is here. Or when we sustain a belief that was once true but no longer serves us. This puts us out of sync with the world and leads directly to suffering.

When we pay attention to how we’re responding to life, then we can be more conscious about the stories or beliefs we’re running. Listen to the stories we tell others. Is it true? Really? Or are we telling a fish story that grows in time? And the more we tell it, the more we believe it because telling it helps make it more real. Ask yourself – how is this story serving you?

At first, you’ll mostly catch yourself after the fact, after the story is told. Then, you’ll notice during, perhaps because of the emotional tone you feel. You begin to recognize the process. Finally, you’ll recognize the story as it arises, by its emotional signature, and you can choose to drop it. Then, in resolving the emotion, the belief loses its substance.

Note this isn’t an intellectual exercise. We can’t fix a story with another story, although we might be able to obscure it. Many of us have layered stories, stories to account for or justify other stories. It is this tendency that makes the process of unwinding more complex, like peeling an onion.

Because our resisting beliefs create energy blockages and restrict flow, over time they cause us discomfort and eventually disease. As Rev. Mary Hennessey said “what you don’t heal will eat you from the inside.” They also put us out of sync with the world, leading to more bumps in our journey. Thus this is not an idle issue.
Davidya

What Supports Happiness?

Really the question should be: What gets in the way of Happiness? Happiness is innate, it is the subjective experience of the flow of life itself. If we are alive, simply being, we should be happy. It’s our natural state. You’ll notice it shows up naturally when we open, like in awe or in love.

But it does move in the depths of our being. So the sheaths (koshas) or veils between our “bliss body” and the other layers of our experience need to be fairly clear.

From the kosha perspective, the first body is Annamaya or the food body. What we put in our mouth, its volume and its suitability are the difference between a plugged up system and a clear one. The body has great intelligence on what it needs if we don’t confuse it or overload it. We may need to learn to listen though.

The second body is the Pranamaya, the vital body, also known as the astral or emotional. This is another body that is often plugged up, but with unresolved traumas that cloud our feelings. Same rules as above. The tendency to excess (food, drink, activity, etc) is one way people try to mask how they feel. Avoidance is another but these don’t exactly support happiness.

Manonmaya comes next, the lower mind. This is the home of thoughts and identification. Out of touch with our source, we become ego-identified and build a false self-construct. We believe ourselves to be in control to feel safe. This creates a false barrier to who we are and what is here. Of course, Self Realization is the resolver of this trap.

You may have noticed by now that the bodies have a relationship with the chakras, the above being first to third. This isn’t one to one but there is close ties.

Vijnanamaya is the next. This is the intuitive mind and discrimination. While we do have to awaken this value within and remove some crusts, it is not typically as polluted or stuck as the lower energies.

And thus we come to Anandamaya, the bliss body. The prior sheaths don’t have to be perfectly clear. Just unfogged enough for the bliss to shine through. And then we’ll find happiness is indeed our birthright. It is only for us to prepare the way.

Readers of this blog know that the best way to clear the decks is transcendence (samadhi). When we practice an effortless meditation, we regularly touch down into source. That gives the body deep rest, allows feelings to release, and breaks the boundaries of the mind. Of course, we’ll still have healing to do through conscious attention. But meditation will lighten the load considerably.
Davidya

Emotions and Energy

When I read about Non-Violent Communication (NVC) in the past, I saw it as a way to help resolve conflict between groups. I hadn’t seen it as a healing tool, especially not for self-talk. But it’s actually excellent for getting clear in communication in general, including with yourself. What are the facts and feelings, what is the judgement and blame? And how can we meet needs and come to satisfaction? (I review the steps here)

Another key point is that if you try to “figure out” what will make you happy with logic (left brain), you’ll likely miss the target. This is because our emotional needs are emotionally driven. We have to use feelings to identify the unmet needs. You CAN get satisfaction, in spite of what Mick Jagger sang.  

Recently, I took an NVC-based workshop. It included some of the science behind our emotional state. For example, the Vagus nerve running in front of the spinal column has 3 channels.

The Dorsal, closest to the spine, drives our Freeze response. It mutes our response time and brings emotional states like shame, sadness, overwhelm, and confusion. We also go there when we’re badly injured. External symptoms include loss of muscle tone in the upper back and difficulty meeting people’s eyes (it’s not just psychological). Broadly, we tend to feel numb and disconnected from the body.

The second channel is our Fight/Flight alarm channel. That can express as anger, frustration, and so forth. Blood rushes to the limbs and away from the prefrontal cortex (higher mind) and digestive system. We become faster but stupider. Chronically, this activation we experience as anxiety.

You can divide the “Feelings when your needs are not satisfied” from the Feelings & Needs Inventories (pdf) into these 2 channels.

The third or Vental channel is operating when we feel safety and are socially engaged. Our brain hemispheres are more balanced [and nostril breathing] and we’re face focused. Much easier to meet needs in this mode.

If you’re familiar with the 3 gunas, these easily align. Tamas (inertia), Rajas (fire), and Sattva (evenness). When this pattern shows up, you know you’re looking at fundamentals.

On a constant basis, our amygdala inside the brain checks if we’re safe and OK. If not, we shift into the first or second channels. The amygdala is what holds the emotional charge in memory. It requires a single exposure. It has no time stamp and thus creates an eternal ever-present past. And emotional charge. This is our implicit and largely unconscious memory.

Behind the amygdala is the Hypocampus. It retains explicit memory after multiple exposures that is factual & timestamped. It tracks them for 3 years until they migrate to the cortex as long-term memory.

Together, the 2 bring us both the facts and emotions associated with various memories. However, during trauma, the hypocampus goes off-line, leaving only the timeless charge. If we’re able to name the feeling state though, the memory becomes explicit & conscious. At first it can be a little muddled but it gets clear with practice and clearing the backlog.

We also explored the evolving understanding of the brain hemispheres. If we carry a lot of unresolved trauma, our right brain can become like a “jungle.” Thus, we favour the left and control, detail, and judgment or blame. It’s a way to resist pain and feel safer. If we become disassociated, the right hemisphere goes quiet.

From an energetic standpoint, we’re talking about the lower 3 chakras. Safety, emotions, and lower mind.

Parents who are stressed and action-driven are typically left-brain dominant. The left brain sees others as tools & objects. (objectification) They’ll see their child as a collection of tasks for them. Such parents will expect specific careers, good grades, status and accomplishment. The child will often feel unseen and unknown, not received. Many teenagers thus balk and rebel at apparently pointless expectations and unmet needs. If the parent is barely functional, we learn to stay small and disassociative in dorsal mode. The worst of course is when parents visit their traumas on their children.

It’s also useful to note that children don’t even have the left brain orientation engage until ~2 years old. It doesn’t fully develop until around 6 so parental feedback is taken in as fact, including any shaming control measures. We may learn it’s safest to be invisible by functioning from the dorsal. Self-shaming becomes automatic.

Other kids stay more in fight/flight and thus lash out at others, perhaps becoming the bully. They find it easier to be in hate than shame. Adults can be the same way.

With such examples, we have to relearn natural relating techniques. Hence the role of NVC. If we ask others for empathy when we’re not feeling alive and in the body, there is no one there to accept it. We’re energetically closed. We have trouble receiving and will find it easier to  give than receive. Often, we’re habitually trying to be invisible while asking to be seen so our needs don’t get met. We have to be awake and alive within to receive.

On the flip side, if we know we’re supported, it’s difficult to stay in shame or anger. Make sure that the people you hang out with can receive you, where self-expression is safe. You want 2-way relationships and you may need to learn to invite them. If you’re invisible (closed lower centres) you will be felt as unavailable by others.

When we’re relating and are not received (tuned out, subject change, talked over), how do we respond? Acceptance? Others may sometimes need a nudge. Do we repeat ourselves? Or do we ask for acknowledgement? If it still doesn’t work, there isn’t really a relationship taking place. It’s more like 2 toddlers who play near each other but have not learned to relate yet. They are together but separate.

The Energy Side
The techniques the workshop used to help heal skirted the edge of going into the mud of emotions. I would consider this the hard way. NVC is very useful for identifying emotional states. We can use them as signals for things to resolve. We want to allow feelings to arise and complete (resolve the charge). But we don’t want to wade into them – it’s a subtle but huge difference. Wading into the feelings amplifies them and can make them more real. For our shadow, it’s wading into the mud.

Emotions are the subjective experience of energy states. In energy healing you resolve the underlying energy blockage or resistance and thus resolve the resulting emotional effects (not to mention the karma). Thus energy healing is deeper and more effective than the drama.

When you learn energy healing, the first thing you learn is how to ground and not take on the energy you’re trying to resolve. Becoming more energy-aware allows us to resolve the root dynamics. While we still may experience a wave of emotion, we don’t have to wade into the trauma, just let it go. Watch it go by.

This process is also much simpler. For example, for a particularly big one, the teacher ended up engaging over a dozen other people as support plus engaging some role-playing. I can see the way this allowed the individual to feel safe and release, but the complexity and skill required to do such healing is much higher.

The exercises also made reference to being in the “resonant witness.” There was no inquiry or other techniques to make this more conscious and not everyone is aware enough of their own awareness for this to be valid. But being in an observer state makes watching the emotions go by much easier.

It’s also worth noting that if we learn to work with our internal energy environment, we can meet the majority of our emotional needs internally. They are simple energy states that can be adjusted with attention. I talked about this back on Feeling is Believing.

There is perhaps a ways to go from being deep in shame to being energy-aware and in a witness state. But having the support of others and some simple techniques can really help.

For a good introduction to energy healing, I’d suggest the Dreamhealer books, especially #2. His workshops are an excellent practical experience but are mostly in Canada.

From there, you can learn to feel and read energy and to ground and protect yourself. There are quite a few modalities around. Many such healers have studied several and integrated various features. But the key is simplicity. Energy is simple. It’s moving or not, it’s smooth, harsh, or sluggish (the gunas again), and so forth.

Most importantly, we can learn to heal ourselves.
Davidya

Non-Violent Communication

Much of our emotional pain and struggles in life are due to unmet needs. These have developed through resistance and denial of what is and being trained that some emotions are unacceptable. This is most obvious in relationship troubles where we’re expecting our partner to meet those needs. However, this is often an unconscious process – we don’t even know what those needs actually are, except maybe generally. How can we then ask for them properly? Nor do we properly distinguish between needs (non-negotiable) and wants (flexible). We end up projecting blame and judgement on others. Conflict and disappointment are the inevitable result. And a desire for control.

This judgement and positioning mode is so common in our culture that even professional helpers don’t recognize it. In fact, it’s built into our language. For example, depression has become classed as a mental illness when in most cases it is the simple consequence of missing self-skills. We don’t even know that, just as physical pain is a signal something is off, so too “negative” emotions are a sign of energetic discord and unmet needs. Needs that can be directly addressed if recognized. Rosenberg on the subject. (Youtube)

Poor skills have made it acceptable to shame others and lay on guilt trips and make having feeling bad. Many don’t even think happiness is safe. But we all feel so it’s better to develop some decent emotional skills. Otherwise we’re walking bags of crud, ready to explode and radiating disturbance in our body and the community.

With the right skills and self-empathy, we can actually meet many of those needs ourselves internally. But others behaviour still has an impact on our experience of life so good tools to resolve conflict and communicate better can be potent.

I’ll shortly be taking an empathy workshop based on the principles of non-violent communication (NVC). I thought it worth reviewing the main points prior, which lead to this.

NVC is about shifting from a divisive will-based stand to communicating with a feelings-based empathy model. It’s also called compassionate communication. In any communication, you listen empathetically and express honestly. This happens in a simple 4 stage process, paraphrased.

1) Observations – Rather than evaluating and judging which we’re often cultured to do, we simply state factually the behaviours and conditions that are impacting us. This steps out of blame, but the listener has to recognize this or they’ll immediately be defensive.

2) Feeling – we name the feelings that result. Because of the above, I feel ______.
You need the mind to name the feeling but not its judgment. You want to identify internal feeling states. There is no right or wrong here. Being able to name the emotion without moral judgment enables a connection of mutual respect and cooperation rather than blame and defence.

3) Needs – what do we need to resolve the feelings? What needs are not being met? These unmet needs are what is triggering unpleasant emotions. NVC has a short list of emotions and needs that serve as a handy reference. Needs are pretty universal. They are not tied to a specific person or individual. Pleasant emotions like happiness and peace arise when our needs are met.

4) Requests – State what we want (not don’t want), as a request. Be clear and specific. This is not a demand which brings emotional pressures, like guilt. As a request, the other person must be able to say no or propose an alternative. You take responsibility for getting your own needs met, and you let them take responsibility for theirs. You want voluntary consent or it’s just another conflict.

With enough self-empathy, you can ask in spirit. And you can use internal techniques I talked about here.

For some, this may seem pointless or primitive, especially if you’re a man. But it’s a remarkable re-framing if we’re willing to explore. Get out of the head a little and find out whats happening in the feeling space. If it’s confused or numb, there’s some resolving to do.

You can use this in relationship and within yourself. When you follow the named feeling back to the unmet need, it may surprise you. Whats been bugging you (the unmet need) may not be what you thought it was at all. It’s always about you.

These feelings and needs are not complex. The primary ones NVC lists are around a dozen each.

[Update: Feelings & Needs Inventories (pdf, 833k)]

A lot of communication is just saying Please and Thank You: Please meet my need and Thank You for that. But it so often is masked in stories and drama and thus brings mixed results for everyone.

With a little practice – and it will need practice as the old habits can be persistent – it can change our relationships and satisfaction significantly. Here’s a wiki on how to practice it.

And here’s a clip on Empathy

As the saying goes, peace begins within.
Davidya

Solving Problems

Recently, I attended an afternoon workshop by Mark McCooey, a very successful businessman involved in multiple industries and several non-profits. The workshop covered problem-solving techniques he’s developed, based partly on the work of Byron Katie. The presentation followed the outline of a book he’s working on.

I found his approach to life’s challenges excellent. It can bring you peace in difficult circumstances but it may require some deep looking. I’ll paraphrase from notes, adding my own perspective.

The first thing to recognize about problems is that they’re only problems as long as we don’t see a solution. Once a solution arises, our stress levels drop – even before it’s implemented. In other words – everything is perception, even the problem.

As Mark observed, if we have no expectations, we have no problems. When we disengage the identified me and recognize our nature as the cosmic Self, that unlimited perspective changes our perception of ourselves and the world and heals many old wounds. Challenges will still arise but when they are no longer personal, they will not bring the weight and stress they once did. Nor will we tend to create problems for ourselves with expectations, though it may take time to wind down the many old habits. The ultimate solution to problems thus lies in spiritual awakening.

The second thing to note is that our first reaction to a new challenge is to drop into our animal brain with a fight, flight, or freeze response. The reactive self experiences stress and uncertainty. The body shifts blood flow away from the higher brain and gut and into the animal brain and muscles. It demands something be done, now, even if nothing can be done. Just remembering something we’ve forgotten can elicit the stress response. Or noticing we don’t know where something is. The style of our typical response (anger, fear, withdrawal) is usually based on long-established habits from our childhood. That in turn is based on those circumstances and family examples, plus our own temperament.

Mark recommends we never respond to a newly perceived problem immediately, unless it’s a small one. Rather, if we wait until the initial reaction settles, we can shift back into our higher rational mind and make much better, more creative choices. The best way to relieve stress and stimulate the prefrontal cortex per research is with effortless meditation – which is good for awakening too.  

Once settled, the first step Mark suggests is we ask the question:
Who’s problem is it?
Often, we can spend a lot of energy and stress over a circumstance we have no resources to do anything about. The problem does not even belong to us.

The 3 types of problems:
1) Yours: if it’s your problem, it’s solvable by you only and with the resources you have.
2) Someone Else’s: if someone else has the resources, it’s their problem. You may need to bring it to their attention or support them in the process, but if it’s theirs it is only theirs to actually resolve.
3) God’s: no one has the resources but God. (substitute nature, universe, or similar if you don’t like that word) If you don’t control it, let it go. Put another way, let go and let God.
Note that God also controls all outcomes. You control your actions but not the results. This is a key teaching from the Bhagavad Gita.

For example, perhaps someone in the family has an addiction. In the case of an alcoholic husband, only he can solve the problem of the addiction, much as the rest of the family may try. Others may help support them in finding treatment, but the addict must take the responsibility and seek healing. No one else can do it for them, just as no one else can learn their lessons for them.

However, that initial problem may create problems for others that they can address. For example, the wife of an unrepentant alcoholic has the choice to stay in the relationship or not. They also have a choice around how they respond emotionally to the circumstance. But they cannot solve the addiction itself. Expectations the addict will change will only lead to our own suffering.

There can also be a whole chain of people involved, such as in trying to deal with or cover for the alcoholic. But again, only they can solve the core problem. If they are unwilling, the others have to let it go and decide how they will deal with how it impacts them. Tough love.

In another potent example, a terminally ill child. The parents and family can do their best to provide care and comfort and research options. But they have to leave the outcome to God. They have no control over that.

You may also find some problems are shared. You have some of the resources and can be part of the solution. However, you have to be very clear that it’s not all your problem and you or others don’t try to make it so.

Why do we get involved in problems we can’t solve? If we have the illusion we can do something about it, it avoids a feeling of being helpless. However, this just delays the inevitable and often leads to deeper suffering. Ofttimes, it can also be tied into our sense of identity and illusions of control. As I mentioned, this can take some deep looking.

Constraint theory
If the problem does belong to us, it’s important to address the main aspects of the problem and not get caught in minor details. After identifying it’s your problem, identify the biggest obstacle and look to resolving that. For example, you need a job. Are you spending most of your time seeking and applying for jobs? Or making nice spreadsheets of possible employers, polishing the resume, and so forth?

The Either/Or dilemma
Often we see a problem as black and white, a this or that choice. This is another symptom of being in the reactive animal brain. Often, hybrid solutions are possible that address both sides. This requires time for the higher brain to process and synthesize.

For example, do you stay in a dead-end job or go back to school for training? Perhaps there is a weekend training option that lets you support yourself while getting the training. In other words, both. The job isn’t so dead-end then.

Helping Others
If we’re going to actually help someone with their problems rather than becoming part of the problem ourselves, there needs to be some clear ground rules. Use gentle, quiet truth.
1 – you need to be clear it’s their problem before you even get involved
2 – they need to be clear it’s their problem
3 – they need to be clear your help is not you taking the problem (#2 again)
4 – they need to be demonstrating that they’re doing what they can
Once they recognize it’s in their power, ask them to make commitments to action steps, even baby steps. If they take no action, you cannot help.

If they come to you with a big story or drama, they have not yet defined the problem. You may be able to help them get clarity. The problem should be able to be stated in one or two sentences. First, the problem is defined, they recognize it’s theirs to do something about, and then action steps are identified.

In this regard, women tend to see issues more in relationship and thus may take longer than men to come to clarity but the result is a more comprehensive solution. So men, be patient and let them share. It can be part of their process. Sharing a story is not a problem. Regurgitating it over and over without change is when it’s an issue. Then it’s being turned into a belief.

If they are unwilling to take responsibility & action steps, you cannot help. Sometimes people get invested in their drama and just want to keep telling their story. You may be able to challenge them with baby steps but if they keep telling the same story, you’re just enabling it. Sadly, some people need to suffer more deeply before they’re willing to let go. Until then, there’s little you can do except tell them you’ll be there when they’re ready.

Perhaps a friend has a health crisis and needs support through it. But then the crisis is over and it’s time for them to reengage life. If they’re still asking for the same support and you give it, then you’re enabling a dependency. Instead, can you help them see steps to take to become sufficient again?

Define, take responsibility, and act may sound obvious but all of us can get caught in loops, reacting habitually to a circumstance without stopping to consider what the real issue is. Only then can it be addressed. A key red flag is when you find yourself telling others an excuse story over and over. Another flag is when your health is taking a hit because you’re unwilling to deal with the potential change being called for by life.

Mark also explored a number of other dynamics, like identifying the primary reactive mode people you engage with favour and how to mitigate each. He plans to hold a further session to explore others layers. I look forward to this and his resulting book.
Davidya

Shadbhava

While people may speak of past karma or desire driving the form of this lifetime, the qualities of the life that unfold are found in various factors. Shadbhava is a term from Ayurveda meaning 6 houses or areas of life. It refers to the influences we have when starting this life. (it also refers to the 6 stages of life, but that’s another discussion)

Three or half of the factors relate to the body we’re being born into. The father, the mother, and nutrition during pregnancy. In other words, our bloodline and prenatal care. Many traditions honour their ancestral bloodlines and prescribe careful care of pregnant women.

Science has found that a fetus develops to prepare for the environment into which it expects to be born. If it is exposed to a lot of stress through the mother’s experience, it will tend to develop more musculature and less fore-brain (higher faculties). In a more nurturing environment, the reverse is the case. A woman who experiences samadhi (transcendence) during pregnancy will pass that experience to the fetus as well.

“In stressful environments, fetal blood preferentially flows to the muscles and hind brain, while shorting the flow to the viscera and the fore-brain. The development of fetal tissues and organs is proportional to the amount of blood they receive. Consequently, a mother experiencing chronic stress will profoundly alter the development of her child’s physiologic systems that provide for growth and protection.“
– Bruce Lipton
(On Bruce Lipton’s web site, select the Nature, Nurture article for much more detail.)

The other half of the equation are the aspects our soul (jiva) brings in. These are Rasa, Sattva, and Atman.

Rasa means flavour or essence and relates to the dosha or body type / constitution that results. (Vata, Pitta, Kapha) The flavour we bring to the bodies bloodline. (which is why you see some kids out of type in a family)

Sattva relates to the degree of purity and our karmic debt. The baggage or resistance we bring in and the unresolved desires. And this relates to Maya and the way we perceive the world.

Atman relates to our degree of infusion of spirit. Our spiritual history.

Atman and sattva in particular illustrate prior spiritual development and how we pick up where we left off. Their mix also illustrates the wide variety in ways people experience personal and transpersonal development. It depends on what we’ve taken care of and what is yet to open.

I found this an insightful overview. Our life and growth are not just about our own history but that of our family and community.

To quote John Donne (English clergyman & poet (1572 – 1631)):
“No man is an Island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the Continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friends or of thine own were; any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankind; And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; It tolls for thee.”

See also
Only together.
Davidya

The Dominant Sense

One of the factors that influences how we experience our unfolding growth is our dominant sense. The distinctiveness of this will depend also on the degree of that dominance. We’re all something of a mix.

And this doesn’t guarantee how you’ll experience awakening. But there will be that tendency to process it that way. And the kind of teachers and approach you’ll favour.

I can recall someone describing one of the NLP models on this subject. If we’re visual, we look up when thinking. If it’s audio to the side, if touch we look down. You’ll also note word choice and metaphors will be sense related, like saying “can you see my point?” or “I don’t feel you’re understanding me.” or “Am I being heard?”

As a visual person, I’ve noticed that visual people are often more conceptual and more inclined to want models and maps. They get things more by being shown or seeing them and are probably the most likely to be in the head. They’re also more likely to develop clairvoyance first.

Audio people are more sound attuned and may talk of getting things by hearing, music, or “vibes.” (more heard than felt) Clairaudience tends to develop early, centered a little above and behind the ear.

Kinesthetic or touch people are more bodily aware and touch-centric. They’re more inclined to be health-conscious. They get “gut feelings” and clairsentience.

And of course, there are all the various blends of these themes. And there are probably a few people for whom taste or smell are dominant.

The most important thing to understand about this is not to expect spiritual experiences to come a certain way. And not to be disappointed if you’re not getting the visual flash of someone you know. In some ways, the kinesthetic path is superior. Easier embodiment, fewer distractions, and a deeply lived light. (oops – that’s visual)
Enjoy!
Davidya

Food as False Protection

There’s an interesting dynamic with food that’s come up several times recently. How people will use excess food as a protection or suppression technique, usually unconsciously.

Some practices explore the beliefs behind what is motivating this. Others promote lifestyle practices like diet. But the more superficial the approach, the less likely lasting change will happen. If we can get right into the energetics of the cause, we may find the core driver behind the behaviour and eliminate it.

In discussing Nancy’s workshop, I mentioned how we try to close ourselves to how we’re feeling. Some people will numb themselves with distractions like TV or work or other entertainment. There’s nothing wrong with taking a break but if we’re using it as pain avoidance, we’ll find ourselves doing what we know is bad for us. Food is another common means.

Food, either heavy or too much overloads the digestion. This pulls our energy away from healing or feeling, dulling our sensing. We tend to put on weight. Over a certain amount and our physiology can become duller on an ongoing basis. Sensitives may also use food to reduce sensitivity. However, the sensitivity they’re reducing is to themselves.

Mediums who speak with people on the “other side” can get away with this. But if you want to go more subtle and speak with higher beings, you’ll need to clear the deck and open more.

Better if we can become more conscious of this process and learn to open and let the energy move past rather than land. Learn how to not just open to spirit but to ground. When we resist feelings, we actually hold on to them rather than resolving or letting them go. If we pay attention, we can feel how a heavy meal reduces sensitivity. It may activate pleasure centres as well, but those are brief. We may also feel better just by avoidance. But we’re not really avoiding anything, just repressing it. Without a resolution, it will tend to show up in other areas of life instead, like in our relationships or in health problems.

It’s surprising that the best protection is openness. The most satisfying life is moderate. The greatest health is through emotional peace. These are the simple secrets of a well-lived and fulfilling life.

Coming to peace
Davidya

Layers and Gates

Our energy system is a complex and many-layered thing. The specific combinations of open, developed, and blocked channels are unique to each person. This also means each of us experience it differently. What we’re willing to experience, how we best experience sensorially, and what is relatively clear all effect our experience.

During Nancy Shipley Rubin’s recent workshop, I was reminded of several points around this. For example, the idea of the 3 Am-egos or 3 layers of ego I’ve talked about prior. This matches Adyashanti’s “head, heart, and gut” model and the corresponding chakras. But in another way, it is the grip of the 3rd chakra, expressing itself and being released in 3 layers of expression. This illustrates how intertwined it all is. When we say this chakra is for this and that for that and the mental body is this and the emotional body that, these are  generalizations. The less physical we go, the less specific and the more intertwined.

Another example is the open or closed status of the 2nd I spoke of on the previous article. Shifting in the 2nd changes the balance of all the chakras, especially those closest. Thus, a simple shift on a deeper level can affect most areas of life.

During the workshop, Nancy talked of the chakras in a fascinating way. She described how the 2nd (Vitality), 4th (heart, Creation), and 6th (forehead, Inspiration) are alternated with 2 permission (allow) gates – the 3rd gate of safety and the 5th gate of truth. If we don’t feel safe or if we don’t feel truth, the energy will not move smoothly between the centres. The gates are also known as the male centres while the first set are the female.

Interestingly, this may suggest partly why some people experience much less of the God consciousness phase in the descent before unity. They feel safe enough to release the grip of the 3rd and unify. But they do not accept the idea of angels or God and thus don’t open the truth gate on the way down.

Similarly, Kundalini Vidya talks of the 3 caps in the root, heart and just above the throat chakras that block the kundalini rising until the aspirant is ready. Further, there is a major energy knot typically found just above the third where the grip mentioned above is typically felt.

There are multiple layers to all this. There is the first rising to awakening that Nancy is describing. Shakti rises to meet Shiva in the crown. Then there is the descent of the divine to the root that matches the stages of enlightenment, as in the am-ego’s mentioned above. This becomes embodied when the descent is complete. Finally, Shakti is said to rise again and settle in a chakra based on the abilities needed by the individual, especially if they have a mission. She may even return to the root to open more abilities. A rare few clear the psyche completely and go to Omega, a final return to the crown. (the descent should not be confused with descending energies being used to clear and open petals and secondary centres. The descent I refer to is primary.)

It’s a rich aspect of ourselves to get to know. Our energy (prana, chi, qi) is that aspect of spirit that moves to create our body, mind, and the world around us. If we want to understand causes, this is where you’ll find answers, just as the quantum physicists explore the way the world works via energy measurement.

Davidya

Nancy Shipley Rubin

Nancy Shipley Rubin is a psychic intuitive and counselor. Twice a year, she and her husband Errol come out of paradise in Hawaii to do a tour of the west coast, offering workshops and personal sessions. She also has an annual retreat.

She’s been coming here for over 25 years and some good friends have been going to their workshops for much of that time. I’ve been to several. Her primary focus is on teaching us to work more consciously with our energy system. How to open, clear and protect ourselves. She indicates most spiritual aspirants these days are clearing their heart and throat chakras on the rise to awakening.

This year however she returned to the lower 2 chakras. She calls the first and second the Vitality centre. Our culture tends to encourage closing the 2nd chakra, home to our emotions, creativity and manifesting ability. This imbalances the energy, causing illness and various other side-effects. Many spiritual people are more open upstairs but closed below. Thus the running joke about how spiritual people are always sick and broke. She used to call Vitality the Wounded centre. The emotional body is certainly where many of us carry our heaviest loads.

Their web site talks about the Vitality program and the principles around it. However, the exercises were the most profound part. For example, after learning to notice the state (open or closed) of our second chakra by feel (surprisingly distinct), we practiced interacting with closed 2nd’s. Conflict and negative feelings seemed to automatically escalate. But as soon as just one of us opened the 2nd, the energy diffused and the upset party was soothed and unable to escalate. For me, it felt almost like flushing; in the open 2nd and down and out the 1st.

Another profound exercise for me was calling a Vitality principle while being open. A great exercise in embodying one’s spiritual development.

It was fascinating to see how, when we close off to avoid feeling our unresolved emotions, we’re closing only to ourselves but not the world. Others still feel it (mostly subconsciously) leaving us open to manipulation or  relationship based on pain. Not to mention that we’re holding this in our manifesting centre. How to Call in the Yuck. And we’re blocking the richness of life itself.

Most of us have a deeply ingrained habit of keeping the 2nd closed in our culture. So it can take some practice to open and make a habit of it. This simple difference creates a very different way of seeing the world. From fear or from open safety. The mechanics of how people create their own hell become clear, as well as how great sages darshan works. Spirit embodied in the lower chakras brings the presence people so resonate with. And the simple presence of an open 2nd can be a profound healing for those nearby. All of it is automatic.

Nancy has one more workshop on this tour, in CA. Then a retreat in early May. They don’t do much publicity, just going by word of mouth so they can work with small numbers of earnest people. But they offer the kind of practical wisdom that can make a profound difference in your experience of day-to-day life, if you’re ready to make that step. Our world will be a marvelous place when such knowledge becomes commonplace.

Heaven is always open,
Davidya