Pain holds us All

In the past, I’ve spoken of the mesh, the threads of connection we hold with our past. At the connection or node of each of these ‘threads’ is a grip. A holding, a knot of stress, a resistance to some experience. Those threads are mostly emotional so often involve others, binding us to them. Tying our story with theirs across many lives.

When we resolve these – in the past or present (they are the same) – we release that karmic binding. With our past and with others. That part of the story collapses.

If the person we are binding to has not learned to release those threads or “cords” as they are often called, they too are caught by your mesh. Thus, clearing our emotional binding releases not only ourselves but others with whom we have been enmeshed.

If both parties have held a grip and one releases, the cord is broken. Just as we can release in the past or present, we can sever the cord on either side. That gives them a chance to also release. If the grip is strong or habitual enough for them, it becomes a grip merely with their own story. Something for them to deal with. But now with a lower charge.

What clearing this does is reduce suffering and part the veil. The veil is the emotional noise that blocks the deeper reality of who we are and binds us to the surface field of karma.

When we release enough nodes, a whole section of our mesh collapses. Our history literally changes, simply because what held it a certain way was released. It returns to the natural state of flowing energy. (of course, it was never really held. What we are gripping is a story, an illusion)

It’s also useful to recognize that we can add to the load we came in with, add new holding. Such grips can tie us to others in ways we don’t intend. This is the profound value of learning to let our history go. Learning to be present. Learning that holding serves nothing but pain. We heal ourselves. We heal everyone we have ever loved, throughout our souls history.

This came out of a quote a friend sent me today. The astral is the emotional energy body or field.

“Suppose you were made to suffer by someone you loved, and now you hate them. Don’t think this means you’ll be free of them. Whether you hate or love them, you are still bound to them, for hate binds you just as powerfully as love. If you wish to be free of someone who is tormenting you and never see them again, do not hate them, be indifferent. If you hate them, you bind yourself to them with inextricable bonds, you will be with them constantly, you will have to deal with them for years, for centuries, and you will continue to suffer.

On the physical level, it’s easy to break the bond with someone by severing all connection with them, by no longer seeing them, by divorcing, etc. But the bond must also be broken on the astral plane, and for that to happen you have to be able to stop harboring negative feelings. That’s what you have to understand if you really want to separate from someone. Even though hating someone you once loved implies some sort of breaking-off, hate, like love, is a force that binds you to that person. Obviously, the bond is different: love brings you certain things and hate others, but hate does so just as surely and just as powerfully as love.”
– Omraam Mikhaël Aïvanhov-

Hate binds as powerfully as love because we’re talking about emotional binding, not deeper reality. Don’t equate indifference to disdain. This is neutrality, the release of all emotional resistance to them. Have not heard of Aivanhov before, but he was evidently a Bulgarian philosopher in the last century who taught mostly in France.
Davidya

What’s Still True?

I’ve spoken recently several times about one of the challenges of the spiritual journey – that the rules keep changing. What we have held true no longer serves. But the habits of mind keep regurgitating the old story, the old way.

One of the most difficult to disengage is the judge. That aspect of mind that categorizes everything. It’s a useful skill, but so often it is used in a black and white way to decide what is right and wrong, good or bad.

Does it really matter what your neighbour thinks? Or what that person is wearing? Or if the waiter is being together? As we let go of the more petty judgments, we find the most challenging ones – the judgments of ourselves.

Life often seems to be bringing us lessons or difficulties. But so often, people will view them as judgments or some sort of failure. I’m insufficient in some way, so I get what I deserve. Thats a lousy story to hold so dear.

When I suggest there are consequences, this doesn’t mean good and bad, it just means  result. This action will bring this result, more or less. If you’re seeing otherwise, you know there is a story of blame going on. And blame always begins with self.

Even when we’ve stopped believing this story, it can go on for a long time, it is so ingrained. It probably shows up in my writing here and there.

If you feel you’re being tested in some way, frame it a little differently. Rather than seeing it as a test to see how badly you do, how about a demonstration to show how far you’ve come. Because we are in the middle of it, we sometimes miss just what progress we’ve made.

I’ve spoken quite a bit about the value of gratitude here. Gratitude helps us stay out of that box. It’s very simple really. If everything is one, there are no mistakes. The ‘reasons’ may not be apparent but will tend to be more so in retrospect. If we can learn to trust a little more, we’ll find this to be increasingly true.

That’s the trick though – if we don’t trust, the world will respond in kind. There’s that consequence again. It’s not about right or wrong, just a much more enjoyable space to be in.

If everything is all one – even if you’ve not realized that yet, you can have a conceptual sense of it – then everything is a blessing. Everything. It’s there to either support what we love, or move us to a higher place. Demonstrate where some attention is required. Not show us how we’re bad but rather where we’re holding back.

You came into being to experience who you are, in every aspect. In every circumstance. Free will allows you to change the nuance of that experience. To make it higher or lower, right or wrong, good or bad. But what of just experiencing it as it is. What a revelation! When we see with simplicity, what is true is clear.

Love your pain. Love all of it. This is your blessing. To express the love that brought you here.
Davidya

volume

If you haven’t been by in the last couple of days, there’s been a rather large flow of articles.  15 in the last 2 days. This began with What is the Illusion? on the 26th if the “Latest” list isn’t keeping up for you.
D

Attention!

If you read any spiritual or new age material, you’re bound to run into ideas like ‘emotions fuel desires’ and ‘healing the heart’ and ‘the power of passion’. Including on this blog. Emotions are quite potent tools in creating our world and our experience of same.

But there’s something even more powerful. More powerful than anything you can imagine. It is the power of your attention. While emotions may be the energy that makes things happen, attention is the well and pipeline that fuel comes from.

I’ve spoken a number of times here of how everything arises in consciousness, how everything is intended. Practically, intended consciousness is called attention. While it may not be obvious, the point of your attention is the point at which infinity is collapsing to a point. Even as you read these words. When we are open to that flow, infinite power moves through our attention. This is why great teachers you may have met have an astonishing gaze, like standing in a high wind.

When we’re in the habit of engaging our attention in small details and have lost our connection with source, that power is not as great. Only enough to create our world. (laughs) When our mind and emotions flutter about on this and that, we are dissipated. When we put our attention powerfully on something, then cancel it with doubt and worry, we turn off the power. But never underestimate the power of what you are giving your attention to. You are building our world with it.

It’s easy to see that as we develop a deeper connection to source, settle some of the emotional and mental noise, and step back from the small part of ourselves we’ll be turning up the amperage of our attention.

Indeed, this can be one of the unexpected challenges along the path. When we find we are getting what we want and people are being effected by out attention. We have to pay more attention to our habits. Be more mindful.

As our attention gets unencumbered, it can be a powerful tool. Turn our attention to silence, and we’re there without technique. Turn our attention to the heart and it blossoms out in love. Simple shifting of attention moves us into infinite freedom, deep intuitive knowledge, and the movement and direction of life. We can clear long held crusts, travel the universe*, or visit God. Without moving a muscle.

“…if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you.”
– The Bible, Matthew 17:20

If we consider what I mentioned about bringing infinity to a point with our attention, the example of a tiny mustard seed suggests another meaning. This is the Dharana of Sanyama described by Patanjali. He described siddhis or powers such as walking through fire, knowledge of the past and future, being able to see inside the body, and the superman trick, flying. Or perhaps you’d like to be able to understand any language or creature. Or have the strength of an elephant.

These are not secrets. They’ve been described for thousands of years. But until you have unencumbered, innocent attention, they remain the talents of the Kryptonese.

This is the source of the knowledge of ancient priests, seers, and shamans. How they could describe the rings and moons of Saturn without a telescope or see the long trends of time. Consciousness is not bound by space or time so neither is it’s focus of attention, you. You are your attention. You are the infinite in a point.
Davidya

* what I’m referring to here is movement of attention within consciousness, not astral travel. Astral travel involves divorcing the astral body from the physical and using it as a vehicle. The astral or emotional “plane” is also were the messiest stuff is. Movement within consciousness is simple attention, no separation or mud required.

The Muse

We’ve all heard the message that in order to be a great artist, we must suffer. That the creative muse is a fickle thing, showing up at awkward times and vanishing when she is most needed.

This evening, I had an interesting dinner conversation with friends about this. One of them is giving a talk next week on creativity and spirituality. As he observed, when we are out of touch with ourselves and our nature, we are disconnected from our genius. Creation is a struggle, just like all other areas of life.

Back on Genius Without, I spoke about a talk by Elizabeth Gilbert on genius and creativity. She observed that instead of a person “being” a genius, all of us “have” a genius. That a muse expresses through us rather than it coming from us or a me.

I’ve spoken of this in my own process, how stuff just arises and flows out. How else would I write 11 articles in one day? (laughs) When we open ourselves to who we are, the flow of life within, the creative spark lights up and we become a vessel for our muse.

All of life arises in consciousness so naturally connecting with pure consciousness, we find the font of creation, the source of all creativity.

And I’m not just speaking flowery words here. This is quite literal.

We could say our muse or God or the light shines through us. When we can learn to be present to who we are and allow, our genius awakens. Our purpose is alive. Our passion flows. We are alive, we are life, feeding and nourished by itself.
Davidya

Mantra, Mantra

Awhile back I started an article on meditation but it soon became clear this was more like a small book than a blog post. I decided to write on just one aspect that is less understood in the west. Sound.

First though I should clarify what I mean by “meditation”. I refer to a mental practice that turns your attention within and takes you into silence. I don’t mean dance, prayer, listening to CDs, or other things that may fall under the banner of the word – however valid they may be.

As I’ve mentioned before, awakening is a process of Self waking to Itself. It has nothing directly to with anything we do or practice. However, a practice can help to speed and smooth the process immensely. Especially a practice that connects you to Self. When Self becomes more familiar with the person, it prepares the ground.

Adyashanti indicates* meditation is to loosen the bonds of mind or thoughts on consciousness. It has the effect of breaking up the underlying structure of the story and ego. While you can do inquiry or mindfulness and pick off each of your resistances one by one, by dipping into source you can clear in large batches. It’s like a tree – do you work on each bud and leaf or do you go to the root? This takes care of much of the noise and burden without doing anything else.

Then all you have to do is clean up the bits left over, the stuff you’ve held active even with presence. Much easier task, even if they are the hardest nuts. And that inner connection to source makes everything else more potent – your prayer, yoga, intellect and doing. Just consider – when are you more productive? When you’re happy and rested? Or when you’re tired and anxious?

Because meditation supports the root, the secondary benefits are legion. Hundreds of scientific studies have confirmed this. If you have not found something that connects you to silence, I would certainly recommend it. For many, it’s the most important thing you can do with your life and it benefits everything. This is why I place meditation first in any list of practices.

Personally, I’ve seen effortless meditation to have been the most effective for the most people, but some do find results in other things. Just 2 key points:

1) Keep it simple.
Too many practices are cluttered with ideas of correct posture, alters, beads, and other paraphernalia. If you like that stuff, great. But it’s not about doing it right, it’s about NOT doing. If they get in the way of letting go, let them go.

2) Keep it simple.
Many practices I’ve seen also complicate the technique itself with requirements, turning it into a difficult task. Small changes can make the difference between a difficult practice and an easy, effective one. This is about letting go, not building it up. No force or will required. Just allowing.

Amongst the range of meditation techniques out there, the most common traditional ones involve use of a mantra or sound to lead the mind within. Most westerners are unfamiliar with these ideas, so here’s a brief review.

Mantra
The science of sound or mantra is very ancient. When we understand that everything we experience arises from consciousness, we discover the first quality is vibration. We can experience this vibration as sound. That sound leads to what we experience as the world. Thus, there is a relationship between sound and the effect it has. For example, we can all think of how different types of music may affect us. Sound not only elicits feeling, it is also the beginning of form. A specific sound we call a word or name, like glish or palladium. The science of mantra is thus a study of sounds or words and the forms or effects they cause.

There are mantras for illness, for success, for marriage, and for peace. Each of us has a “true name”, the sound that creates our form. At every moment. Trouble is, the mouth can’t really produce such non-linear sounds. (remember – you’re 3D)

The English language is strongly ego derived and has little relationship between the sound of a word and the form it describes. Latin is closer. Sanskrit on the other hand has a direct relationship. (I’ve read research papers on this) The sound of the word matches the form it represents. Indeed, if we can produce the sound at the right resolution of expression, it can call forth the form or effect.

This is one of the secrets of old texts. If one listens to the chanting of the texts on that subtle level where vibration first arises, we can experience what the words describe. Thus, within the old texts is encoded experiences. A movie on the pages of a book. This is called name and form.

We can see mantras used in a number of ways.

Yagyas
At the most active level, there are performance practices where prescribed actions, words, feeling, and meaning are blended together in awareness. These are known as pujas or yagyas or by other ceremonial names. They are like a form of active prayer. The Christian Mass is probably derived from someone experiencing this way.

These days, large groups of people have assembled to perform specialized yagyas for world peace. Such groups have not gathered in such numbers in thousands of years. 1945 was the first time recently it was revived.

Bhajans and Chanting
The Hare Krishna sing an example you’ve probably heard. They often dance as well, but a Bajan may or may not include action, placing the attention on the words, feeling and meaning. Bajans are like songs, sometimes short and repeated or a long series of Sanskrit phrases. In a way, they are like sung prayer.

Vedic chanting is more like a recitation. Historically, they are memorized so that attention can dwell on the sounds and meaning during the practice. When listened to on subtle levels, they can elicit the cognition’s of the seers who described them, as mentioned above.

Historically, the ancient books were handed down orally (chanted) through families or temples until there was concern for their loss in the darkening cycle of time. The key Vedas were gathered by Vyasa into books, roughly into the form we know them today – the 10 mandalas of the Rig Veda and so forth. Because these texts are sound rather than text based, they are entirely mantras.

Some meditations, like chanting the Lotus sutra, are more in this category as they are often spoken aloud and involve reciting an entire work. Sometimes prescribed actions at an alter.

You can see there is a wide spectrum of use.

Silent Meditation
When I was first considering learning to meditate, a friend said you could use anything, like ‘macaroni’ as a mantra. While this is true, keep in mind that the mantra will take you into deeper, more powerful parts of the mind. It will reverberate and create a number of effects. A suitable mantra is thus very important.

One of the best known examples of a mantra is the famous Om or Aum, the primordial sound. The sound the universe makes en masse, the ‘unified field’. It is the “pranava” mantra that all others arise from, hence it’s use in opening chants. It is very positive and often recommended but it will tend to give you reclusive tendencies. Not a good idea if you are not a monk.

In this context, mantras are derived from a bija or seed – simple sounds with one or two syllables. Some of these you’ll see in a chant phrase, embellished with Jai’s, Shri’s, and Namah’s, words of glory and thanks.

In India, it is quite common to suggest you pick the name of your favorite form of God, your Ishta-devata, such as Jesus, Ganesh or Krisna. This adds the feeling and devotional aspects to a practice, but also it’s a simple way to pick a positive, well suited sound without a lot of fuss or expertise.

Some teachers offer longer phrases as a mantra, perhaps one you’d see in a chant. Some use them verbally and silently, some just silently.

One may also practice japa, essentially a counting of the mantra repetition, perhaps with the aid of a string of 108 beads. Like calling the Rosary. This can be an aid to keeping the attention on the practice but is otherwise unnecessary in my experience.

In still simpler forms of meditation, a simple mantra is used without meaning. It is a sound to occupy the mind so it detaches from its preoccupation and settles within. Transcendental Meditation (TM) would be an example of this, probably the most widely taught non-denominational meditation.

I was lucky to find a simple effortless meditation some 35 years ago. It has served me well since. My familiarity with other forms is from study and sharing with others. I’ve only ever needed the one technique plus some addenda like asanas and advanced enhancements.

When our practice deepens enough to clear the way, we begin to see the possibility of a revival of legends of old. But we’re aways from “calling forth” just yet.
Davidya

*intro to Aug. ’07 retreat

Why Do I Choose This?

Back on the What do you Want?, I shared Adyashanti’s quote

“In the end, you will always do the thing you wanted to do most.”

In The Good Story, I touch on how the world is a story, but we discover it’s a story we’re choosing. Are we choosing meaning or meaninglessness?

I’d like to explore these ideas a little further. We always choose what we want. What we see as the best choice. In the consciousness of the moment, it always seems the best choice or highest need.

Sometimes that’s not completely clear. But if we watch we’ll see it’s true.

Soon, the question becomes who is wanting? At any given moment, are we driven by the angel or devil? By the light or the dark side? By clarity or ego? It shifts around all the time. The Self may be expressing our purpose through us. Or we may be reacting from fear, fighting what is.

It can be hard to tell if it’s Self flowing through us as the Self doesn’t make a lot of fuss. But in the end, we look at consequences. We are revealed by what we do, not what we say. (where have I heard that before

This internal duality of Self and self can create a competition. We shift back and forth, creating dilemmas between our story and what is real. Even when there is no desire for it to be any other way, we push against the way it’s showing up. This causes us to resist it at the same time we love it.

In other words, we do what we love but the mind is always asking how it can be different. Listing the should’s, the what-if’s, and the if-only’s. Making it wrong so it can feel superior.

Can we allow it to be as it is, without resisting?

Byron Katie observes that the world is perfect so your life right now is just right.
If we question the story we have about what pains us, we find it false. Often, the truth is the opposite. She asks, “What would you be without your story?“

This can be scary for the mind. When we get caught up in our experiences of the world, we loose our sense of connection with source. Mind looses direction from source and starts to try to take control. To feel in control, it must have an answer for everything. Thus, it makes stories about everything.

Often this results in us blaming others for circumstances rather than looking at who it is that is wanting and creating it.

Sometimes what comes up is karmic. This is the consequences of what we wanted in the past that we were resistant to experiencing at the time. When the right time returns, it comes up again for completion.

As we progress down this path of clearing and connect with who we are, the grip of the mind begins to loosen and the rules begin to change. The competition inside has died. We find ourselves in a place of peace and happiness.

As we move out of ego, we see the world as an independent observer. The world simply takes care of itself. We are left to enjoy simple being. Clear off the old habits of mind.

But then it begins to become increasingly clear that the idea we’re independent of what’s taking place is also not a complete picture. The rules of Cosmic consciousness must also be shed. And so forth.

As Adyashanti described, one of the common consequences of this process is the loss of meaning of the old stories. But unless the deeper meanings of soul purpose come to light, we may get stuck there. We can loose the greatest benefits of our awakening.

As Lucia suggested “It’s our duty to enjoy.” We want to choose joy, choose passion. We can’t need to as that no longer grips us. When we are free, there is no need. We want to find our love and feel it.  Bring the silence and joy and love out into expression, into the world. Only then does the miracle of grace truly begin to show up.
Davidya

PS – interesting. This was going to be a key article on flowing love, but it seems something else needed to be said first. (laughs)

Dissolutionment

As we climb the ladder of spiritual awakening, the growth cycle has a tendency to speed up and the rules get increasing distinct. Each time there is a major change, the rules of ‘reality’ shift and we again find ourselves relearning how to live. In some ways, the rules are not changing but our habits of being that used to work in illusion stop working.

The cycle of growth: balance, disintegration, growth, integration, and repeat
(Compared to Genpo and Buddhism)

Thus, from a place of relative balance and clarity, we have an opening that leads to  some dissolution or disintegration. Sometimes, this can be a little disconcerting. Sometimes, it can be quite disruptive to peripheral aspects of life.

Or at least, what have become peripheral aspects. Like work, relationships, and finance. (laughs) I’ve seen some people disconnect from their life for a time. Some have their external life simply fall apart. This depends partly on how much of a facade it was and how closely it related to what was the ‘true dream’, their life’s loves. When it stops getting the energy of attention, it ceases to exist. And of course, as Adyashanti mentions, when we create a space, karma can rush in for resolution.

A couple of extreme examples I’ve mentioned in the past. Suzanne Segal battled against waking for most of a decade. Genpo Roshi describes the stage before Unity as “Falling from Grace” as he struggled with it for 2 years.

More typical examples are simply residual thinking of a me. Even after the me is gone, it may still be expected to be there by various mental and emotional habits. We act as if, but it’s not, so it doesn’t play correctly. What used to work doesn’t.

Not to emphasize that there will be challenges. Just that there can be, depending on where we are attached. Often, the process is smooth and easy, perhaps with a few bumps in the road. But it’s not unusual to meet a sharp turn at some point. We find ourselves standing in the middle of a field, not sure which way the road even is.

We just have to remember this is a good thing. As the growth completes and integrates, it will all come together and we’ll find ourselves much further along. Like we went into a tunnel that was dark and unclear. But when we come out, we discover we bypassed the entire windy road of the mountain pass.

It’s also worth remembering that these challenges can often take a little more time to process simply because the rules don’t really matter much. We’re enjoying life too much to care if the boss is being weird or money seems to be flying out the door.
Davidya

Curtains of Mind

Recently here, we’ve talked about the model of life as a movie theater with the observer as projector and the world as the screen. The senses perceive the liveliness and create an image in mind, thus feeding it back. (the audience) The concept is imperfect though as there is not really a “film”. The projector simply intends and the screen responds.

Fundamentally, both projector and screen are consciousness, one being aware of the other. Awareness aware of itself.

We can see that perception is what creates the world. Focused attention or intention. There are 3 parts to perception – the subject or observer, the process of experience, and the object perceived. Rishi, devata and chandas. Observer, projection, and screen.

As we approach Unity consciousness, the subject recognizes the object as itself and the duality of perception collapses. It is simply the process of perception moving within Itself. The flow.

As this develops, we see the finer detail. Attention on a point collapses infinity into a point. This causes a local dynamic of awareness aware of itself and a bubble of awareness forms around the intention. The inside surface is lively consciousness, what we would call mind.

This vibration quality enlivens the intelligence in the intention. Intelligence forms a structure or geometry – the origin of spacetime geometry. The liveliness also causes energy to flow, following the structure. Energy movement manifests field effects. Fields produce matter.

Note that seeing the awareness bubble dynamic requires awareness of awareness aware of itself, something not seen until more than highest mind is transcended.

Every object, person or idea we experience is intended, including ourselves, and thus everything sits inside it’s own bubble of awareness, sheathed on the inside with mind. The mind field or aura that some people can see is inside awareness. If mind is identifying with its perceptions, it sees only it’s perceptions and the bubble becomes more opaque from the inside. If the object is something like a rock, the awareness is much less lively.

Outside of our localized mind is a group mind. Then a mind that encloses our universe. Then a mind that encloses all of creation. This creation at least.

We could call that the one mind for simplicity. This holds God’s dream. The highest illusion. Inside that is everything ever experienced. All of the bubbles possible. Inside each progressive mind, bubble within bubble, are progressively smaller and more localized dreams until we come to the dream of the person.

The object of awakening is to step up through or awaken from all of the dreams, starting with the dream of the person, the ego.

It’s like each layer of mind is a curtain over the screen.

First we stop identifying with the me curtain and become aware of the light of the projector, then the projector itself. Then discover the process of perception, how the world becomes. And then we awaken to the main screen. So subject wakes, then object.

The curtains do not block the projector from intention and response with the main screen. All screens respond. What mind does is get is the way of perception, distorting intention and causing mis-attribution. We mistake the source.

These curtains are the illusions, the idea that there is any image separate from the whole. Gradually, they become increasingly transparent.

The more you see oneness, the more you are seeing right through the main screen. But the highest clarity is observing the whole process, observing awareness aware of itself. Seeing from behind the sky.
Davidya

Resisting Resistance

Over on Albert’s blog, Urban Monk, he wrote of how we secretly want to suffer. In a discussion in comments something came out I thought was interesting.

If we understand that the ego-identity structure is essentially a grip or form of resistance to what is, we discover another nuance to how resistance is layered. Why there seems to be an onion to peel.

Much of suffering arises from resistance to experiencing how we feel. How we are. We resist the emotions and they thus don’t complete and hang around. Over time we build up a big lopsided bag of feelings we carry around on our back and our heart, weighing us down.

Because the ego also produces emotions we resist, (mostly fear) we end up resisting the resistance. Some of our suffering is resisting resistance. No wonder it soaks up so much energy!

Curiously though, when we first see it, we may say “I am stuck in anger”. But because experiencing the anger will release it, we’re actually stuck in a resistance to the anger. We’re tasting the anger but pushing against it. As soon we allow the experience, it will briefly come up more fully, then wash away, ended. The energy is released.

Ego is like this only more so. We think we’re experiencing how we feel, but mostly we can be experiencing how we resist what we feel. What it feels like to fight anger and pain.

It’s a fools game. When we stop playing it and begin to clear some of it, this gets very obvious. Under all the resisting of resisting is what we wanted and were missing the whole time. Peace, happiness, and love. They were right here the whole time.
Davidya