The Lessons of Life

If we look at events in our life, we may notice both the consequences of choice or free will plus an element of determinism. That some things happen beyond what we intended.

This can lead to the idea that we come into our life with a certain number of lessons or that life is like a school. That we can choose, but we also have to choose correctly. Even when the rules of the game may not be clear.

This can also be seen as a circumstantial push to develop certain skills and talents over others that may not get enough attention. We all know people who never got a chance to develop talents and others who’s way was paved. You might not see becoming an athlete or lawyer as a “lesson” but it’s an aspect of what one might refer to as our calling. For some people, the calling is clear, for others it’s more a theme. But that dominant lesson can also point to our life’s purpose. It may be a push that takes place over a series of lives.

In any discussion like this it’s also important to make a note about we. That the idea of a “me” doing is incorrect. What’s going on is a we with a local focus (the apparent me) plus some prior choice we need to complete or correct for. Some call this second part karma.

These are the “lessons” of our lives that come to visit us. One of their key features is that they tend to come with blind spots. Because those areas of life are incomplete and we tend to have resistance around them, we don’t see it objectively. Hence the need for some learnin’.

When others we respect observe certain issues we don’t see, it’s worth considering if this is their bias or our own blind spot.

When we have some time under our belt, there’s another aspect that we may notice. The the series of lessons is often one lesson in layers. Just like emotional clearing can be like peeling the layers of an onion, so too the lesson. It’s the same thing being experienced on different levels.

What that dominant lesson or development is may be hard to see with the blind spot. But when we see, it is obvious. It is a background, sometimes foreground theme in our life. It illustrates life’s progression. It explains anomalous experiences. It will even show up in places like an astrological chart.

For example, lets say our lesson is responsibility. In our youth, we may find ourselves surrounded by others with responsibility. Or inversely have parents with little. We may then find ourselves in a position where we have forced responsibilities, like being an unexpected single parent. And finally we may reach a place where we choose responsibility.

Another example might be forgiveness. At first we may need to experience pain so we’re obliqued to look for a solution. We may be lead to look at how we feel about it. Then perhaps how we deal with those feelings. Then culturing more positive feelings. Then how to forgive those that trespass against us. And finally self forgiveness. In the end we may find there was nothing to forgive.

In a way, this is the complete lesson. When we no longer need it.

Both positive and negative scenarios can lead to learning. But if our life has ease in some area, it may point to being taken care of. Take money for example. If we don’t have lessons in value, thrift, self-control and such, then we’ll probably find money comes to us easily and in sufficient amount. We’ve learned that stuff. Or it’s taken care of to ensure we’re not distracted from our main task.

Inversely, if we find it easy to get into trouble with money then there is probably something to be learned there. Money is a big button for many people that may point to other areas where the lesson actually is, like responsibility above.

If an area seems lacking or unsatisfying, this is a good sign some looking is required. If we seem to be experiencing the same thing over and over, perhaps we’re not learning the lesson or there is further nuances to sink in.

Relationships can be a hotbed of learning as we may find oneself with karmic mates, people uniquely designed to make our issues conscious. (laughs)

When we complete a section or sub-lesson, it may be like a light bulb going off. We finally “get it”. A new sense of ease arrives. And then the next stage begins. (laughs)

Sometimes, free will comes into play (in the we – not just a me remember) and the best scenario for the lesson doesn’t come together. That’s when it can be much more difficult and the intended lesson much more obscure. For example, a responsible parent becomes an alcoholic, throwing off the “school”.

Some people talk about the age of the soul telling us the kinds of lessons we’ll experience. Lessons of survival early on, followed by ego lessons, then more subtle ones with maturity. But it’s worth noting that even advanced souls may sometimes have to go back and relearn stuff or finish the tail ends. We may also have lives spent simply in rest and enjoyment.

Above all, the intentions of the we and lessons of life form a process that creates the qualities of the path we travel on. We can look back on life sometimes like pages from a lesson book and see a thread of learning.

This is of course just one way of looking at life. But if we can see why we’re here and stop fighting it, life will be much smoother and we’ll be learning about stepping into the flow rather than handling the grief.
Davidya