Breaking up without Breaking

Periodically here, I’ve written on the subjects of love and relationship. Posts such as Finding Love, Eternal Love Is, or Understanding the Opposite Sex. Actually, under the category of Love, there’s over 40 posts. Still more under Heart. And Relationship. Lots on clearing but not so much specifically on healing a broken relationship. And that can be one of the bigger challenges in life.

Tom Stine mentioned a new post on Tina Su’s ThinkSimpleNow blog called How to Get Over Breakups. She nails the understanding and offers a number of techniques for healing. I discovered many of the same things in my own journey of healing. Love is not out there but inside and it’s our relationship with that that determines how relationships will be for us. If we are all One, then relationship is a key to our journey into wholeness.

One other tip I’d add to the list – Gratitude. This will open the door to emotional healing and the ability to love. Healing the heart is a key part of the spiritual journey. To become self-aware, we first have to step apart. This is the dawn of the ego. To complete the process, we come together again in Oneness. This is the heart, that sews the sutras of knowledge into wholeness.
Davidya

Who’s really doing all this?

Over on What do you Create?, I talked about how the world is formed, how we create our world.  This invited further questions from Ariel and Jacob. To get a handle on questions of doership and attention, we first need to get an understanding of the process. As we step out of the box of the ego, the rules start shifting and can seem to become kind of loose. People may offer you this or that truth but it may seem to conflict or be paradoxical. This is because consciousness is the container. As consciousness shifts, so too what it contains.

It’s worth mentioning a simple observation. Our perspective determines our moods and thoughts and thus the decisions and actions we make. What determines our perspective at any given moment? The ego? Consciousness does. The ego has nothing to do with it. There is one doer and a bunch of different ways of seeing how that happens. The ego only claims doership out of fear when we cannot see.

I use the term perspective to qualify our worldview. The consequence of the value of consciousness we reflect. If you pay attention through the course of your day, you’ll notice that your perspective is continually shifting and thus your mood and other qualities.

We could say we tend to function in a certain range, that our perspective will tend to go up and down within certain limits. For example, we may be dominated by an inner exploration at home but shift into a more tribal mode at work or with family. The kinds of thoughts and moods and habits we experience will shift with the perspective, and the ‘performance’ we perceive in that area of life will correspond. In other words, if we tend to run from a lower perspective in certain areas of life, we’ll feel less empowered there and more likely to feel victimized or fearful.

A ‘spiritual experience’ is one that takes us out of our usual perspective range. Stretches the boundaries. When we begin to step out of the sense of being individual, our perspective can shift considerably. Whole new ways of seeing the world arise. But for a time, the old habits of mind are still present so we can still find ourselves ‘falling’ for the same old dramas. We may also have trouble differentiating the new me from the old me. This is because they are made of the same stuff. One is the wave, the other the ocean.

From a higher perspective, there is no states or perspectives. There is just one consciousness shifting and directing it’s attention. But we have to get there from here and that process is typically in a series of general stages or shifts in perspective. We step out of the person to step into the whole.

This leads to a few points:
- there is no one ‘true’ perspective – if there is a perspective, it’s not yet complete.
- the ‘truth’ of one perspective is as valid as any other
- we should not discount one truth nor try to blend several together
- the eternal truth cannot be conceived of by mind – we can only be it

Net result, one has to learn to simply hold the ideas loosely and not seek a right or absolute truth. Perhaps consider it like a scientist – as a working hypothesis until there is new evidence.

This whole arena is one of the biggest challenges of the path. And it can actually get quite a bit more complex for a time as more perspectives are added.

Let’s explore what Jacob raises first, doership. As we climb the ladder of perspective, the sense of person and doership gets stronger and stronger. We are the thinker, the dreamer, the actor of our lives. But as we begin to connect with our spiritual selves, a new perspective dawns with the experience of the witness. We find ourselves as the observer, a witness to our actions. The body and the field of action seem to take care of themselves, without any input from the me. We can live our lives like breathing. No personal doer is found.

We may then build concepts of no doer, but just like the ego idea of a doer, it too is just a concept to be seen through. As the old habits fall away, it can dramatically change what is important to us. It can seem that nothing needs to be done. The key thing to understand is that this is a transitional stage.

In the meantime, we have a body that lives in the world. While our perspective has changed, the play still goes on. What has changed is only how we see it. Things still need to be done, responsibilities still need to be met. The sage Vasishta talks about this at some length. It’s also a core of Krishna’s teaching in the Bhagavad Gita. We could say that a major part of the teachings of the last 2 avatars, Rama and Krisna, was on how to be in the world but not of it.

As our mind tries to grapple with this new experience, it looks for ideas that can fit. But as our perspective is still shifting, the concepts don’t seem to work. Or they are paradoxes. As the experience gets clearer and deeper, knowingness will arise that will satisfy the mind.

Let’s explore doership further. As the sense of being the doer falls away, the world can seem to be running on automatic. There can seem to be no doer. Further, it can seem like an illusion, that nothing is actually happening at all. As the perception refines, new values of experience begin to unfold and the deeper mechanics of becoming are revealed. The question of who is actually doing is answered. More deeply, who is having this dream that holds this vast illusion. More deeply still, I am That dreamer. More deeply, I am the dream, the dreamer, and the experience of dreaming. More deeply, there is no dream – it’s all real. More real than ever, because it is only silence, moving within itself.

When this experience is not yet fully established, you can imagine the possible range of perspectives. Some shrapnel of person grumping about the life I have created for mySelf in the dream thats not really a dream at all, imagined by someone else who’s really me. I am some guy plus all my past and future persons, along with every other life of every being and their history and every concept that may have arisen. Who do you want to be today? Anything and everything becomes both truth and illusion. Consider it transitional and it becomes easy to move forward. Just another experience. As attachment falls away at ever deeper levels, the need to know and the need for it to be a certain way falls away too. The more we release, the more we gain. That is the end of the seeker and the end of suffering.

Throughout all this, the fundamental rules of action remain, whoever we perceive to be doing or not doing.

To Ariel’s questions, thoughts arise from several places. Processing noise, associative like memory and habit, and occasional deeper signals. We could say their source determines their degree of truth. But even the deeper signals are affected by how clear the thought came though. How much associative baggage we tack on as the thought arises.

Our perspective of the moment then determines how we perceive that thought. Do we see them as background noise or as truth? That rather depends. Are they true? Maybe. Is it either or? Good time for inquiry.

It’s worth noting that sub-conscious habit mind is exponentially faster than conscious, creative mind. This is partly why it’s tricky to see through it. It’s only when we can step out of it that we get effective.

When the silence is not fully established, there can seem to be a need to choose what we give our attention – silence or what arises. When it gets deeper, it will no longer be a choice. The silence will be eternal and never lost to what arises. We become able to have a focused thought while still in unbounded awareness. This is the art of Sanyama that Patanjali outlines, the essence of manifestation. It is the beginning of truth.

Passion and other emotions are much the same way. They can seem to take us out of ourselves for a time. But eventually, even the deepest feelings will never overshadow the inner peace and love. We can experience the suffering of all beings at once and not be overshadowed. All is contained within That which we are.

In the meantime, it is a process of alternation. In India, they describe this as like dying the cloth. You dip it into the dye of silence, then bleach it in the sun of life. Repeat until the colour is fast.

In time, the duality of observer and object, of a sense of doer and doing, truth or not truth all collapse together into oneness. Everything is found to be contained in that, nothing is separate. Many of these questions become meaningless. The passion is the stillness, moving through this apparent form, created to have experiences as a way to know what is unknown. This is why the mind has questions – it is on a journey of self discovery. Welcome the questions, they are the journey, not the answers.

This path does not lead to a place we can get to or something we can achieve. It is not a journey to answers but rather a journey over answers. It is something we just allow. Just by surrendering our concepts of person, our ideas of doership, our concerns about what to focus on or what is right or best, all the answers and achievements. Step by step, letting it all go. Emptying out the vessel. It’s very easy really. We may need some concept to complete a step, then toss it out for the next one. At first it can seem difficult because we have such a habit of holding, such a desire to know who’s really doing all this. Who’s really in control. So we just bit by bit see it and let it go. See it and let it go. Soon that becomes the habit and it becomes a perpetual surrender.

In the seeking, everything is lost. In the stopping of seeking, everything is found.
Davidya

Embodiment

Gradually, I’m reading Adyashanti’s book, The Impact of Awakening, a series of excerpts from prior talks. There was a few notable quotes in a recent read. It is of course addressed to the awake.

Embodiment
“Embodiment is not something that you do; it is something that is a result of how far you take enlightenment and how much of yourself you give to it. The entire cosmos is your body. Let your humanness reflect and manifest the whole.”

“The indications of embodiment are peace, love, wisdom and enlightened action. What effect we have on others is a good indication of how enlightened we are… Enlightened action springs from a humility that never makes assumptions about one’s own attainment. The more humble you are, the better chance that your behavior will be enlightened.” He goes on to observe that others may not always like the behaviour, the marker is that it liberates.

The Perpetual Surrender
“God is only waiting for an unconditional “Yes”… The whole idea is to get to the point where it is no longer a minute-to-minute choice. Of course, it may be a continual minute-to-minute choice, but the problem is that choosing takes effort. It’s always a decision; at each moment you’re never sure which way you’re going to go. However, there can, and must, come a point where one simply says “yes”. Period. You know inside that choice has been made because choice falls away.”

Personal and Non-personal enlightenment, the 2 wakings.
“Personal enlightenment is an exclusive transcendence, in that it excludes the world of space and time. It arrives at eternity by transcendent exclusion of the relative world of space and time. Non-personal enlightenment is an inclusive transcendence; it sees that the world of space and time is the expression of eternity. Thus, it is a truly non-dual perspective.

The implications of personal enlightenment are profound, indeed, but the implications of non-personal enlightenment are earth shattering in the most positive sense. Realize that you are the whole, and you will see what I mean.”

What do you Create?

In a discussion group, a new member said they had just watched the What the Bleep film and are looking forward to “consciously create my day“. She asked “What are your experiences with this? Have you been surprised, given a sign that was so unbelievably unexpected?” This is what came up.

Many people start with small stuff, like “signs” or finding a parking space. Then you can work your way up to the important stuff as your confidence builds. Others dive right in to the big stuff.

Thoughts don’t just affect your reality, they ARE your reality or a reflection thereof. If the quantum field is the ground state of reality and that arises in consciousness, your mind is the quantum field. This is much more literal than you may first be comfortable with. But if you understand and test it, you’ll find it true.

If you take the position that we create our world, you are already creating your day. So the key word here is consciously.

Becoming conscious or mindful of what you are adding to the equation. Observing how you are responding to ideas like “a good parking spot” helps fine tune it. Ken gave some examples of that – seeing doubt come up, second guessing. Learn to just have the idea and put it out there and see what happens. Keep it simple. Perhaps make a game of it, have fun with it as he suggested.

For the more important stuff, you will see both emotional stuff come up as well as beliefs, our programming. Our habits of mind. As long as they are running on automatic, they are the things creating your experience of your day. When you begin to see them consciously, you can choose new habits. Choose new outcomes.

The emotions stuff is key as that’s what powers it, it is the energy that makes it happen. If you are thinking positive but feeling badly about it or seeding doubt, you will thwart your own results.

Remarkably, it only takes a second of clear unobstructed energized thought to manifest. This can take some practice at first as we’ve been running on habit for a long time. But soon, we’ll have new habits that do this automatically.

The mind is the judge. It is always deciding right and wrong, good and bad. This is a useful tool but if we let it take over, it judges everything. To make itself right, it makes everything else wrong. If we see this dynamic happening, we know it’s just the mind. We can choose to ignore pointless judgment and making wrong. If we don’t give it emotional energy, it will soon wither.

We also have a tendency when we set goals to hold them too tightly, to be attached to them being a certain way. This gets in the way of it happening. Hold your goals lightly, don’t over-plan and only include necessary detail. You want to plant a seed and let it grow.

One very useful tool for both healing emotions and quieting the judge is Gratitude. Culturing an attitude of gratitude. Reminding yourself each day of things to be grateful for. When something good arises, taking a moment to feel grateful. Not making a mood of it, but feeling it for a moment. Over time, this shifts our whole tone and makes our attention much more powerful.

The field of action is mighty complex. The rules are simple but the play and interactions are unfathomable. Know the rules and let nature figure out the path.

It’s important to note the past. What we have done or thought in the past may still be working forward into our experience. Some of what you put out there will come quickly, some take a little longer. So there can be time lags – don’t give up just because it’s not instant. Everything in good time. As the backlog clears, it will get faster.

Another point on time. Stuff only and ever manifests right now. Never in the future. Think about them as now, not later or they remain later. If it’s not time yet, give your attention to what you can do now.

Finally, context. There is no me in all this. Consciousness is we, we’re in this together. What you put out as a person has an impact on you but also on everything else. Stuff happens always in context of we, what’s best for everyone concerned. If you keep that context in mind, you’ll get better results and some of what happens will make much more sense. It’s not about you so don’t take it personally. (laughs)

When we put it out there, how it comes back is often surprising. You have to stand open to what the universe returns, not hold to a specific form. If you can do that, it will often come back better than you could have dreamed.

What all of this begins to teach you is being OK with what is. Trusting that it’s going to be OK. Letting go of holding, of the need for it to be a certain way. Of being in context to the whole. That’s when the really good stuff opens to us.

The key is thus to get clear on what you want, put your passion behind it, let go of how it should come, and act towards it.

Get out of your own way and it’s amazing what shows up. Seers actually describe blessings “raining” down.

As for examples, it is my whole life. This is my reality. Dream job. Amazing relationship. Easy clearing of a massive debt when a business failed. Great friends and community. And a remarkable journey of self discovery. All problems in my life turned out to be problems of perception, how I was responding to what was. When I stopped bitching and looked, the gem sitting in front of me was revealed.

Some of my dreams came into my life, then left again. It’s become clear this is because we’re on an accelerated ‘schedule’ these days. You want this experience? Here it is. Next! As I’ve come to trust what the universe has to offer more, I’ve begun asking a lot less. Turns out what I wanted all along is not somewhere or someone else, it’s right here and now. When we learn to be fully present, we discover all the gifts are already here. We were just not seeing them in our busy looking elsewhere and elsewhen.

As a teacher recently wrote, when every day is a surprise you’ll know you’re doing well.
Davidya

Do It Yourself?

One of the hallmarks of a strong sense of individuality is self-sufficiency. An internal sense of completeness that grows into what Maslow described as Self Actualization. This has served our forebearers well as they moved to new lands with unknown challenges and no corner grocery. They had to forge a way to survive.

But as our culture evolves into more and more urban then global settings, that strong sense of do it yourself is becoming warped. Instead of leaders and visionaries, we see the growth of Type A personalities, of workaholism and stress. While self effort continues to be required, more and more we must add the context of the whole, what we contribute to Oneness rather than to ourselves.

For yourself simply no longer serves. If you think of yourself as somehow self-sufficient, you are living with blinders on. To eat, you need the massive infrastructure of the grocery supply chain. To get to work, you need transportation, maintenance and fuel infrastructure. Your job itself is undoubtedly a cog in the wheel of commerce or support. Your home took many people to bring together. And to read this page takes a vast infrastructure, working transparently in the background.

To illustrate, perhaps you’re against nuclear power. You’ve fought local battles to keep it out. You avoid investing in companies that support it. But as you read this page, some of the equipment that served it to you undoubtedly is running on nuclear power. A typical web page will cross half a continent on it’s journey. Perhaps you eat organic. But how can you possibly know if any of the ingredients were prepared with nuclear power? It goes on and on.

We also see this in natural disasters. Take out the power and transportation corridors and the community can stop functioning.

You cannot control the world. You are not even in charge of your own life. That’s not who you are.

The key here is not to fight what is but to favour what is good. To use the power of your attention to support the whole.

You may not think of these things but if you don’t once in awhile, you loose sight of both your relationship with the whole and your impact on it. As the world is drawn inexorably closer together, your choices become increasingly important. If you don’t see this relationship, your efforts will increasingly fail to achieve or have unintended consequences.

Every time you pull out your wallet, change the channel on TV, sit to meditate, ruminate on what happened, or whatever you are giving your attention to, you are shifting the attention of the whole. You are adding your bit to what consciousness is making real.

This is commerce in action. It is politics. It is community. Everything we consider real is being built in every moment by the attention of people. And that attention is bringing us closer and closer together.

That’s a good thing. Some people are trying to control this emerging gathering but very few understand the underlying mechanics. Most see it from too narrow a view. Part of that narrowness is the simple idea there is an individual involved, a “yourself” to do it.

It is simply the one, moving through the apparent vehicles of ‘persons’ to bring itself together. Draw it apart to allow self-knowledge, then draw it together to restore wholeness. But now a wholeness that is fully self aware.

That is the point of our times. Not to learn to do it yourself but to learn self awareness and wholeness, to do it together.

Do it theSelf
Davidya

Highest First

In a discussion over on You Are Truly Loved, Ariel was talking about teleportation and the nature of illusion. Marko emphasized putting Oneness first and how exotic experiences may be mistakenly substituted for deep peace. Everyone agreed but this is such an important point, I wanted to touch on it here.

There’s an old saying, “Flash is Trash“. Any value of experience is illusion and thus not the goal.

That said, we have to use the means we have to get there. We have to use illusion to come to reality. The whole character of Maya changes with the evolution of the perceiver, from a covering to a dream to a ladder.

People who have a lot of “good experiences” face an extra challenge. The impression may grow of advanced spiritual or transcendent knowledge, new abilities, and so on. Aside from the fact that remains of person may amplify a sense of specialness, some of this stuff also comes with a sense of ‘deeper reality’. But it too is just a deeper value of the dream. However deep the knowledge of the nature and structure of creation, it’s just a dream about a dream. All of it has to be released to complete Oneness.

It’s an interesting balance. We use the dream as a ladder but must drop the ladder. Some groups practice the siddhis (abilities) of Patanjali to clear the channels and exercise them, like those ‘yogic flyers’.

The trick is in keeping it as a tool and not getting caught in it. When the silence is established enough, such things will not catch the person – or at least not as much. They are seen as the play. Ironically, that is sometimes when the abilities arise, when any value we may have placed in them is lost. (laughs)

I’ve seen some pretty wild things but they sound implausible to describe. As they are also symptoms of deeper development, describing the effects also serves little purpose and can distract from the point.

I heard a talk once that in the future we’ll need personal flying machines for those who can’t fly themselves. (laughs) But if you could teleport, why fly except for the view? There are a number of ancient texts that describe flying machines, like the Vimanas, complete with specs and diagrams. And of the battles they fought. I understand there is some effort to translate them now. I’ve also heard of a number of technology advances that have not gotten funded. I imagine much advancement is possible with what we have right in front of us, when we are ready to see. When the group awareness opens enough to support a new vision. A vision founded on peace will open doors we would never have dreamed of.

I look forward to that day.
Davidya

Calling Silence

“Mankind is about to experience a great acceleration in consciousness”

“The consciousness of mankind is being prepared for great leaps and discoveries in a gentle way wherever possible…

God is giving man a great chance. Many divine persons are here. We are are showing man a way out; we are offering him the divine light, the divine knowledge. We are bringing down into the consciousness of the Earth the divine consciousness.”

“The whole purpose of my work is the calling down of the Paramatman light and in helping people. Bringing down the light is my gift to humanity.”
– Mother Meera

I’ve not “met” her yet but understand she does silent darshan for hundreds at a time.

Benefit the World

Recently, I saw a music video of the Rankins, performing their once popular song We Rise Again, about reincarnation*.  It came to mind again when I saw an ad for a new benefit concert.

“Paul McCartney, Donovan, Eddie Vedder, Sheryl Crow, Paul Horn, Moby and more will perform a global benefit concert at Radio City Music Hall in New York City on Saturday, April 4, 2009, in support of the David Lynch Foundation’s international initiative to teach one million children the Transcendental Meditation technique – and change the world overnight.”

More on the BeatlesNews blog

Can you imagine silent time in the classroom, where you can mediate if you want to? What a difference from when I was in school. Research results such as reduced depression, resolving ADHD, lowering blood pressure, and such doesn’t begin to tell the story of what it means to improve quality of life.

It’s notable that 3 of these guys were in India together back in the ’60′s. Last month, I wrote about a letter from that time that John had written. And it was about a year ago that The Beatles’ “Across the Universe” was beamed into deep space. Complete with Sanskrit thanks to the meditation teacher. The message lives on, past all of the players.

Should be quite the concert…
Davidya

*There was another version with Anne Murray where she tried to gloss over this detail, saying the song was about Maritime perseverence.

Layers of Witness

There is only one witness, one observer, one ‘person’.

“The witness doesn’t just witness the person, it witnesses all persons as there is only one person. The cosmic person.” “It just has to be seen as it is.” — L&L

Obviously, there is a number of degrees of clarity. How ‘big’ and inclusive the observer seems to be. This hinges on the degree of the sense of ‘me’. The level of individual identity held. The grip that prevents us from seeing the larger picture.

In the lower states of consciousness or perspective, there is no sense of observer, nor even a me. The me develops as a way to ‘step out’ of the whole. We see this in a babies effort to become a person.

The person or sense of identity develops until it feels completely unique.

As clarity develops, we can notice an observer, separate from the sense of identity. In other words, its seen relative to a person, as if another person or a deeper me. We usually have to consciously choose to notice it.

As this deepens and develops through clearing baggage and experiencing source, the sense of separate observer becomes stronger. Eventually, it becomes a background to our lives, a relatively unchanging silent backdrop. This may or may not be noticed as it often grows slowly and naturally. This leaves little contrast to notice it. Many people have this without realizing it’s not what others may experience.

If there is enough clarity, it may become clear that “I am That”, I am this separate observer. There is as if a sense of 2 “me’s” or 2 values of me – the surface me and the inner one.

At some point, there is a switch from being the person noticing the observer to being the observer noticing the person. This may come first as a ‘soul’ awakening where there is a deeper realization of being the deeper Self. But in true awakening, we are no longer the person but simply the observer of the person, a witness to all of life’s activities. There is a deep sense of detachment from all experience.

From that platform, the silence begins to move forward into the experience. The observer gradual reunites with wholeness. I’ve spoken of this process a number of times here. The bits and beliefs of the ego sense fall away, the crust on the heart crumbles, and then the core identity falls.

With the loss of identity, there is then a period of clearing it’s corollaries, the identity version of ego shrapnel. But that which divides has fallen away, so the subtle values of ‘other’ all collapse. All divisions of person, time, and space dissolve into Oneness.

And thus, the truth begins to dawn. The real reality is seen. And we are that.
Davidya

Life is Bliss

Life is Bliss – that may sound like a new age mantra of illusion. And in some ways it is, if it is founded in making a mood. But if you can make a deep connection to source, to silence, it becomes a statement of fact.

Each time you cross into and out of silence, you cross the ‘boundary’, the surface of becoming. You touch life itself.  We experience that as a wave of happiness, or a movement of love within. As our connection to silence deepens, that inner sense of happiness may become ongoing, a background tone to our lives.

After awakening, when we clear enough of the past, that inner sense of happiness becomes permanent, unphased by anything life may throw at us, dominant even in illness or pain. We come to experience life as the movement of happiness and love through us. Life is bliss – both in experience and its nature.

They call this Sat Chit Ananda, absolute bliss consciousness.

But that’s not the end of it. With the opening of the heart, we become life itself. We become bliss. We no longer experience it, we are it. We dissolve into Unity and become that from which life and bliss arise.

As that moves forward into our surroundings, everything is dissolved into the flow, into the movement of love. Every expression of that is a burst of happiness. Life becomes a rapture.

This is not just an end to suffering. It is not just an unending happiness. It is being bathed in inconceivable joy. And it soon becomes normal. (laughs)

Of course, one has to function in life. The attention is not forever absorbed on joy. Indeed, that is a trap in itself. There is always more and deeper, so we have to continue to move forward and let go of whatever heights we may have touched.

If this is not your experience, be patient. It’s coming. The veil between this and suffering is thin and getting thinner. Continue on your path and one day, happiness will jump out and surprise you.
Davidya